Disclosure: I love books, I'm into sex, and I worked a sales floor (including phone sales, a stint in PR, and another in ad work) for the better part of two decades. So I like to think I have at least a passing familiarity with all three subjects. Mostly, it means that I'm difficult to offend. At least, I was. Equinox, a company that operates a number of fitness clubs (aka, gyms), managed to do so. A recent ad from them . . . well, words don't do this thing justice:
On reflection, offend is the wrong word. If I was offended my reaction would be different. Erin Gibson was offended, if her blog post was any indication:
[...]as a former member and a health conscious feminist, I fucking LOATHE this new ad campaign. At over $150 a month, you must know that the type of women who can afford your gym are probably professionals who aren’t thrilled to get e-mails from you guys that include photos of under weight models looking dead inside while being rag-dolled around by a buff shirtless dude. Me included.
That's offense. What I feel is a sense of raw disgust. It's insulting to the intelligence. I suspect what the ad guys were trying to do here was link "fit" with "smart". The trouble is they insisted on using a crude sexual image to do so. That just confuses everything.
Sex and intelligence are not exactly old buddies in American lore, but they can be linked successfully. Just take a gander at Naked Girls Reading if you don't believe me. No less a hottie than Marilyn Monroe carried around books and wore glasses in half her movies. On the other hand, using sex to sell stuff is as old as ads for cars, cigarettes, and alcohol.
If you must use sex in an ad there's a simple formula you're supposed to use: buy the product, get laid. That's it. If you're ancient like me, you remember those Charles Atlas ads from comic books in the 1970s, where the nerd gets abused by the jock and disrespected by his date, gets into shape care of the Charles Atlas program, then beats up the bully to win the fawning admiration of the girl. Similar aim, same message: buy the product, get laid.
Here, the nerd is already buff because (I guess we're meant to assume) he spent a year at Equinox getting ripped like Jesus. Hell, in this ad the nerd is already doing the chick. ("Thanks, Equinox!") So . . . what's the point again?
The message Equinox used doesn't help: there are textual references in the caption to "get[ting] schooled with invigorating group fitness" and "learn[ing] a thing or two about relaxation". I suppose that's okay as far as forced metaphors and crappy copywriting goes, but look at their faces: neither looks like they're having fun. The girl looks doped up and the guy looks like he's on a mission from the government. Worse, the chick is (un)dressed in what could easily be a school uniform. Her empty stare could just as easily be a plea to the viewer to "Don't just stand there . . . do something!"
What should I do? Joining a gym is one possibility . . . but I feel like I should pick up the phone and dial 911. (Statutory rape, anyone?)
Disturbing as the soft-core porn is, what really pisses me off is the bookcase. Take a good look at the books. They are massive, badly piled tomes that have no titles. They're not real books any more than buff guy or his date can be confused with real people. They are stock shells of books, the kind of books that bored, lazy film students use when they need a shoot a scene in a room with books but can't be bothered to actually go out and acquire the books themselves. That would take thought as it would imply character--hey, that's real work. If they were real, they'd probably be 19th century reference books. Books with outdated content, devoid of personality or relevance. Books with an inch of dust on them from misuse and neglect.
So, instead of "Get ripped! Get laid!" we end up with "Get ripped! Rape a dead-eyed blonde in an abandoned library!" Yowza.
The only place this ad really might belong is in a sex ed class for 10th grade girls, with the caption "Don't let this happen to you! Buy ACME pepper spray!"
So, while I agree with John Waters' suggestion that we need to get back to associating reading with sex, ads like this one are not the way to do it. (Not that this ad was meant to.)
Stay classy, Equinox.
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